August Read from the Shelves: I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

 

I've been dilly-dallying between four books the past few weeks and not finishing any of them. When that happens I do what's probably counterintuitive and pick up a whole different book and read it. I've had this memoir in my stacks for a few months and decided to dive in and reset my reading mojo.

Whoa. Lots and lots of some pretty hard stuff in this memoir. Not a read for people who may have experienced physical or mental abuse; eating disorders, or alcohol abuse. I've read a few interviews with Jennette and she said she decided on this title because she wanted it to grab people's attention, and also because she knew her three brothers would immediately get it and understand. I think it's safe to say there are plenty of other people who also get it and understand. 

Jennette McCurdy's acting career wasn't something I was aware of; I was long grown up and not watching Nickelodeon when she was on iCarly. To think of her years on that show, and how miserable she was, is heartbreaking. This kid went through some stuff.

Jennette's mother decided when Jennette was six years old that she should become an actress. Mostly because that's what her mom always wanted to be. Jennette wanted to make her mom happy, because she mostly wasn't-so she said "sure". Dragging Jennette around to auditions, being a pushy stage mom, using her past breast cancer diagnosis to illicit sympathy and open doors eventually got Jennette a starring role on what was to become a very popular kid's show: iCarly. 

What people may not have known was Jennette's home life was a disaster. Her mother constantly worked to keep her children (Jennette has three older brothers) dependent on her and always cried that she didn't want them to grow up. Jennette's dismay at puberty had her mom sharing her "calorie restriction" methods on an eleven year old who developed full blown anorexia, followed by years of bulimia and a dysfunctional relationship with food. This woman was the worst mother. So awful. What's sad is Jennette believed everything her mom said, and worked so hard to not disappoint her mom. This kid was completely lost, naive, and had no chance to figure out who she was, as long as her mother was in control. 

Jennette's mother died from cancer when Jennette was 21. She's free, you think. But no, years of terrible harm to herself required extensive therapy, and a lot of ups and downs. It speaks to Jennette's incredible strength that she's come out whole on the other side. Not only as a child of abuse, but a child actor in a terrible industry that isn't kind at all. 

Jennette's writing is spot on--she's got talent, and I hope she continues to thrive. This was a powerful memoir and I'm so glad I read it, even when it became uncomfortable. 

Rating: 5/6 for a moving, powerful memoir about a young woman's traumatic childhood and her struggle to find her voice. If you have a chance to watch one of her interviews about this book, please watch! 

Available in hardcover, ebook and audio. 

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August Read from the Shelves: I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock, and Big Life Lessons Down on Mischief Farm by Hilarie Burton Morgan

 

I cannot resist reading about women who move to the country and live a farming life. I guess it's because I think they're very brave. And they're so darn handy at creating something out of nothing, or using very little to create that something. Hilarie Burton Morgan joins my list of women I admire, who roll up their sleeves and jump in with a brave heart. 

The Rural Diaries is about Hilarie and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (you know, that heartthrob of a guy from Grey's Anatomy, and the nasty Negan from The Walking Dead), and their decision to move to Rhinebeck, New York and live on a farm.  After meeting in L.A. through mutual friends, their connection was pretty quick and deep. Driving through Rhinebeck, they immediately felt at home and wanted to put down roots away from the craziness of Hollywood. And so they did. 

But this story is not all fairy tale and happy ending; at least not for a few years. Hilarie recounts their beginnings, with their young son Gus, in a little cabin by the woods. Their happiness at finding home, and becoming part of the community. Hilarie is a whiz with power tools and gardening; she learned a lot of skills from her parents and had always longed for a special place to call home. Her attitude of just jumping in and doing the hard work, and the satisfaction of making a home are inspiring. 

Hilarie and Jeffrey find a farm with 70 acres nearby and move there after a few years. More hard work, with the addition of chickens, alpacas, donkeys, and dogs. Hilarie recounts her heartbreaking miscarriages, and the strain they put on her relationship with Jeffrey. Healing from that, and finding their way back to each other. Community is also huge in this memoir; the friends and family that surround the couple and their son Gus are amazing, and I'll admit to being a little bit envious of their little piece of heaven!

Hilarie is a breath of fresh air. Her openness at the ups and downs of her relationship with Jeffrey, her obsession with getting pregnant again and the strain it caused; her heartbreak at losing her pregnancies. Her willingness to get on with the work and not be afraid of failure (in gardening, especially), and her big heart make this a charming read. Her brief inside look at Hollywood and her experiences as an actress are certainly interesting, too. 

This read certainly brightened a dismal February for me. My partner's Mom passed away last week after a very long illness. It was crushing to see her slowly getting worse over the past few years, the past six months have been hard; the past few months were profoundly sad. I was blessed to spend the last few weeks with her, helping my partner to care for his Mom and spending the days with her. It was not easy, and boy oh boy I cried so many tears my face hurt and my eyes were a mess. I'm taking some time to just be home, support my partner in his grief, and yes, grieve myself. So this memoir actually reminded me that the sun will shine again, flowers will bloom, and Spring will arrive. Life keeps going, and we will keep moving forward. 

Rating: 4/6 for an utterly open and honest look at the ups and downs of creating a life together, taking a leap and deciding to live that dream. Anyone who loves farm life, homemaking, and the country life will enjoy this memoir. A reminder that family, friends, and home are most important. 

Available in hardcover, ebook, and audio. 

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The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock, and Big Life Lessons Down on Mischief Farm by Hilarie Burton Morgan

Bossypants by Tina Fey: The Audio Book

I am a big fan of Tina Fey, but it's taken me a few years to finally get around to Bossypants.  I am glad I waited to listen to the audio (on a trip to Wisconsin a few weeks ago) because having Tina Fey tell her story, complete with music and quirky side comments made it all worth while.  I just wished it had been longer!

Tina is someone a lot of women can identify with:  she was an awkward kid, went through the horrible "shag" haircut phase (for me, it was 1975, immediately followed by a failed Dorothy Hamill hair phase after the 1976 Olympics), wasn't very popular in high school, and was a geek at a time when being a geek wasn't so cool.  There was a smart, hilarious, tough woman waiting to come out, and when it did we got to know and love her.  

Tina's book is about her life, from early days spending time at a theater camp, to working in a YMCA as a desk assistant in Chicago, and traveling around with the Second City troupe developing her improv skills and comedic timing.  What I like about Tina is that even though she had many intimidating experiences, she kept powering through and remained open to opportunities.  

Tina also speaks to the idea of a woman being "the boss", and how tough it can be to take on that role even while knowing how competent and kick-ass you will be as the bossypants. 

I wholeheartedly recommend Bossypants as an audio.  My drive to and from Wisconsin flew by listening to her, and she made me laugh out loud many times.  I now have to make time to watch 30 Rock.  Yes, I must confess I've never watched the show.  I think watching it now after listening to Bossypants will make me feel like I've got inside information on Tina Fey.  

Rating:  8/10 for an audio book that was a pleasure to listen to, thanks to Tina Fey and her wonderful narration.  So funny and talented.  

Available in paperback, ebook, and audio.  Listen to the audio if you can!

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Bossypants by Tina Fey: The Audio Book

The Marvels by Brian Selznick

Oh Brian Selznick.  I can't even imagine how to move beyond a stick figure when I draw, and you, with your wonderful illustrations just make magic happen.  Brian's previous two novels, The Invention of Hugo Cabret and Wonderstruck were incredible stories mixed with his wonderful illustrations.  Both combine to tell stories that tug at your heart.  The Marvels is no different.

In this novel, Selznick puts over 400 pages of illustrations first.  The first part of the story is told through these illustrations. Here are a few examples of his extraordinary talent:

(Source:BN.com)

 In the first half of the novel, we start in 1766 aboard a ship, and we meet Billy Marvel, a young boy who has stowed away on his brother's ship.  Adventure is in store for Billy, as well as heartbreak.  He ends up in London, working at a theater, and starts a family that will soon be famous for their theatrical talents.  Generations of Marvels take to the theater, until one day....

 The second half of the novel is prose that builds on the first half of the novel.  It's 1990. We meet Joseph Jervis, a young boy who runs away from boarding school in England to find his uncle Albert Nightingale in London.  Joseph has never met his Uncle Albert, but is miserable in his boarding school (his mother and father "travel" all around the world without him) and Christmas is approaching.  Albert is not your average uncle, and his house is not your average house.  The house is pretty mysterious, and I was sucked into the story from the first page.  Yes, the two stories do tie together, and in a away that surprised me.  I never once figured it out.  

This novel is a true work of art.  It clocks in at over 600 pages, and yes, it is a young reader novel.  I loved the story and had the weepies at the end.  The story speaks about family, legacy, and living a life that makes each of us happy.  It speaks of memories, and the power of imagination.  I was not disappointed, and this novel was worth the wait.  Some reviews I read didn't like the LGBT angle in the novel, but it certainly didn't bother me and actually made the novel all the more poignant.  And remember--it's written for middle schoolers!  So it is age appropriate.  

If you haven't read a Brian Selznick novel, you need to make it a reading goal for 2016.  He usually bases his novels on true life, and will explain at the end of the novel where his inspiration came from, and how he used it to create a wonderful story.  

Rating:  8/10 for a beautifully illustrated novel that tells a powerful story about family.  It's got a permanent place on my bookshelf.  

Available in hardcover and e-book.  But trust me, spend the extra cash and get the hardcover.  So worth it.  

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The Marvels by Brian Selznick